27 December, 2008

practice, practice, practice

Dear One (out of Two or more),
I'm practicing seeing people's glory:
their courage, their various challenges,
and their ability to trust the process
to make mistakes 
and learn from the experimental nature of the process.
Like skiing, skating and everything else:
no one does it perfecly the first time.
It's easier to do this when I'm on vacation
feeling relaxed and carefree.
One day at a time
and not knowing what tomorrow brings.
Creating the experience by exercising choices,
even when it means not chosing.
It is quite an elegant design.
And I never tire of the dance,
the shifting landscape 
as we move from one step to the next
supported by more unconditional love 
than we can ever imagine.

My definition of love 
has morphed into something relaxed
and a little more spacious, long distance.
Did you do that?
I seem to have developed this ability to love from a distance,
without wanting to be with someone to love them.
without needing to like someone to love them.
To be non-judgemental while still owning my preferences.
Freedom from imposing my preferences on others.

I feel lighter,
and free from compulsion to save, rescue,
or do the "good girl" thing.
I feel like I don't have to please my parents.
Or be in the middle of their relationship as a mediator
or a buffer
a human de-militarized zone.
Even my eating compulsion has been manageable,
knock on wood.
And I walked
while practicing Brahms!
I love vacations-
this could be a whole new thing for me!
for tonight
I'm dreaming only about
about my vacation in London
with YOU!
Meet me on the astral plane,
Yur Mum

1 comment:

Style Expert said...

Long distance relationships can be difficult. However, you have captured everything that is great about loving from faraway!