Dear Beloved, Here's what you forgot: the flowers aren't to provide beauty for you. They are a reflection of your own beauty, your own nature. They are not you, but they are not separate from you, and they will die. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, as you have not neglected to care for them, to water them and provide them with an environment which supports their growth. But eventually, they will fade, and wither, and die. They will be transferred to the back garden and be incorporated with the roses, or the herbs, or maybe the martegon lilies. And it wont be a big deal for them, it will just happen. But you, you who hold on to wanting things to remain the same, you will experience your feelings around things changing. Part of it may be the financial investment you made when you purchased them. But part of it may be the truth in the transformation of death, and the process of discovering yourself in another form. I wonder what would happen, how you would feel about being sick if you just came back to the present moment. Balance on the tip on the needle for as long as possible. Like the tree pose you teach to others, remember what you say: not rigid, fluid, shifting, and re-balancing. It is really more about re balancing than the initial point of balance. There is movement in each of the present moments and that will not change. Where does that self abuse come from? How quickly can you recognize it for what it is? How can it serve you, what does it point to when you do recognize it? Is it part of a larger pattern? Do you really believe that you are not enough, just as you are, right at the moment? Don't just lower your expectations, give them up entirely and trust that everything is happening exactly as it is meant to occur, at the precisely appropriate time. Be compassionate with yourself. At least as compassionate as you are with the people around you. Just a suggestion. Dare to be wrong, and misunderstood.