01 May, 2009

roses from shit

Dear Friend, Reigning Queen of Kirklandia, Shit makes fertile soil for new growth Never underestimate the power and value of shit. Think of roses and lilacs, tomatoes, fresh basil and cabernet grapes. I forgive myself for my ignorance. He is no longer any of my business. Do I forgive him? Is there really anything to forgive him for? For what? For finally telling me the truth? In a really hurtful manner? I was simply cheap childcare according to his latest story. The woman he's with now is the love of his life. Thank God he finally found her so he could let me off the hook! The man I was married to was a figment of my imagination, a projection of my inner desire for a creative partnership which honored, valued and acknowledged my skills, my interests and my creativity. Someone who gave me credit and gratitude for my contribution to his development I grieve for the fantasy man, the dream partner I believed was devoted to me. But the truth is he's gone, and I'm still here, doing my thing, eating chocolate praline torts and looking for a new voice coach, Getting ready for a choir tour to the west coast, enjoying my relationship with my daughter and my son, planning a week in August on the East Coast, And loving my life, in spite of the fact that I have lost one of the loves of my life. The truth is that, that happens to people sometimes. Shitty perhaps, but I have always loved roses, especially the yellow ones. And you, my dear, wisdom incarnate, I am immeasurably grateful you are in my life. From our first glass of wine at the La Playette, To the cookies at the reception after your last recital. It is an honor to know you, forever and a day....

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