08 August, 2012

Creme Fraiche Curry Crunch

I scooped ice cream for KFNA last night.
Once a year, on National Night Out, the Kingfield Neighborhood Assosciation board members, of which I am one of 13, go around to all the registered block parties in the Kingfield Neighborhood and give everyone who wants one, a scoop of ice cream.
Last night the flavors were Oreo (good but boring) and creme fraiche curry crunch. The curry one is exclusive to Kingfield and sold only at a coffee shop in the same building as the ice cream "factory"
It's pretty much to die for: pecan pralines with curry spices and a lovely buttermilk tang to the ice cream...
I loved it but did not get as much of it as I had hoped.
I was paired with the KFNA director (we work in pairs) and I had imagined that at the end of serving 10 block parties for a total of 4 hours that she would offer a large bowl  or the leftover container of the curry selection to me,  to take home.

She did not.

She dropped me at my car, parked near the factory, with barely a thank you, and drove off
to collect equipment from the other 4 teams of scoopers (52 registered parties)
I, of course, imagined them meeting at the KFNA office and devoring the leftover ice cream
and debriefing without moi! So I went into Anodyne and bought a pint of last year's flavor, "Nicollet Pothole", as the curry flavor was not in the case yet
My ice cream and I went home and I ate it, with a shot of coconut rum, in a hot bubble bath while watching "Burn after Reading" It was the perfect opportunity for feeling sorry for myself and practicing self destruction at the same time. And having John Malkovich and Frances McDormand in the background was heavenly distraction from my urge to write a nasty e-mail to the board and quit in a fit of dramatic self-righteousness.

How dare they treat me like this: carrying heavy things and using my massage arms to scoop hard frozen ice cream for four hours!! Without any compensation and barely a thank you (beyond all the thank yous of the people I handed a serving and the endless comments of how nice it is that we do this for the neighborhood. Can't people understand how important and special I am and blah, blah, blah...I get like this when I am tired and my blood sugar drops.

On top of all that, I woke up this morning with a headache from eating all that chocolate ice cream before falling asleep

I haven't really gotten into gin and tonic.
My mother was a gin drinker and maybe that is what turns me off
or maybe something about the taste of tonic...
I'm sticking with coconut rum for now
alternating with the occasional margarita
and more often than not: coconut rum margarita.
Malibu actually offers a combination tequila/rum/ coconut liqueur now
I'm pretty sure they stole that idea from MOI!

MM and AB are camping for a few days
They'll be back for the family reunion on Sunday
AM is still living at my house
And I'm still fat, but with really great hair thanks to Pat at " Our Gang" and my latest foil job
I ordered new glasses, thanks to breaking my old ones in two places.
I'm going to pick them up after I finish this and see if they have the new ice cream in the case yet...

The birds love my sunflowers and I love to watch them dividing up the seeds
No new guardian ad litem cases for me
No new volunteer agreements as I am resenting the ones I already have on my plate.

Looking at a new mattress, probably a futon...

And business as usual, feeling exhausted, used up, hot and sticky
It is getting dark earlier and I know that means winter is around the corner...
But I don't care because I have a reliable new Scion: with not much sex appeal 
but 1 year of free maintenance and 3 year warranty.

I love my work, but it is intensely physical and sometimes I just burn out.

C'est la vie!

PS I am writing a lot more...and it's really fun

Are you sticking with gin and tonic?
What about the Lillet: I'm sure it misses you, and wonders why you like gin and tonic better...

I think it's asswhole, not asshole, except for our sons and son in laws
And then, sometimes I even wonder about them
But I am totally wrong: All of our sons and daughters are perfectly imperfect
And let's leave it at that...

Actually there is nothing wrong with men except for the fact that too many women don't want to have sex with them and that gets to them after a while.  And a growing number of women don't want to have committed/long term relationships with them and they know about the research that shows that men who live alone die sooner and are ill more often.
That has got to hurt, and bring up feelings of desperation.
Plus the ones who have alienated their kids probably feel abandoned and cant handle that either
Then they get scared, buy guns and shoot them

Back to work!
Or retail therapy, both are important...

05 August, 2012

Whidbey Island

Whidbey would definitely be a good fit for you.
I have a client who is buying land on Orcas for her not too distant retirement.
Although I'm not sure she will ever really retire, she's way too good at what she does
(she's a social worker/therapist)
I would love to live near the ocean or water, ie Lake Superior
But I am loving my life right now and the freedom that has come into it from working at Blooma
I'm tempted to stop seeing people at my house and sell it.
First time I felt like that!

The weather is lovely today. This is the stuff we dream about: no humidity, sunshine, no wind...
Flowers everywhere, and lovely food to eat.
Adam and I seem to have reached some ease in our interaction,
interesting discussion, he is filled with wisdom and compassion at moments
and quite skilled at expressing himself. It surprises me as I think of him as "just a kid"
most of the time and wonder when he's moving out, getting a "real" job and paying bills
like an "adult". It appears that I get lost in the literal stereotypical definitions of parent/child
relationship and stuck in my own tendency toward co-dependency with my value dependent on how many people I can get to like me.
Silly, but there it is...and then I "see" it happening and back off, giving myself a little more distance to become authentic again
neutral and mirror-like rather than acting out some drama going on in my head like a soundtrack.

The birds love my sunflowers and when I sit in the front porch I can watch them swooping in for a snack
The yellow ones are so yellow its hard to be objective and like them as much as the brown ones
which are drab in comparison...I actually spent some time clearing weeds and saplings last week
and now it all looks a little more organized without a rigid, pretentious flavor found in some more formal gardens.

Any news about the organ? Or the house? or M's wedding? Or the nature of the universe.
Last month I tried to cancel my voice lesson as I had not practiced at all. But the teacher would have none of that...
she said she used to show up for lessons all the time without practicing and it simply made her a better sight-reader!
I really like her, she seems to be very non-judgemental and loose but talented and skilled and just not trying to prove anything
in the music department. She's from St Olaf, and has an amazing ear but also other interests such as quilting, needlework,
and biking. She's doing the breast cancer ride this weekend and is one of the top fundraisers.
She has me singing fun stuff: show tunes, pop stuff, as well as the "Indian Queen" (Purcell)

Five pregnant ladies lined up for massages today starting at 1:30 my time.
Some of them younger than our daughters, a sobering thought.
I guess I got over the grandchild thing, I simply don't feel the same interest or enthusiasm
for it that I felt at one time. Maybe it was more of a compulsion than enthusiasm
I notice I occasionally get obsessed/absorbed with an idea and have difficulty putting it down
and on the other hand I have reluctance around trying to look honestly at what it might be about:
what it might be that I feel is lacking in myself that I would replace with a pet or a grandchild or new furniture
or a new car or a new coat of paint. Sometimes I just want something to be different as I feel sadness about the way
my world is now. Yet I can find nothing to complain about and much to celebrate in spite of the fact this is not what I imagined my life to be like at this point on the edge of 60 years old.

I thought that the "love of my life" would be very different than what I have now. I wonder what was I thinking, if I actually was thinking at all. Perhaps I was simply fantasizing and not having very realistic expectations in my fantasy.
Superheroes, super musicians, super dancers, super financial wizards.

Now I have developed these amazing bodywork skills which provide unusual insight into the nature of healing
and I'm not quite sure where to go from here.
I am resentful when I work at the U of M hospital, I feel unappreciated and undervalued
yet that is and was always like that. And not true in so many cases...So many of the people I touch are incredibly
appreciative, without measure, and I can close my eyes to that or accept it for what it is: an acknowledge of our relationship
which begins before I walk into the room and lingers after I leave for the day.

I bought bacon to make bacon, tomato, avocado sandwiches on this amazing artisan cheddar/jalapeno bread.
After I cooked the bacon I just ended up eating it all without ever making a sandwich.
What is up with that? Crazy? Lazy? Or brilliant and spontaneous? A rule breaker...creative beyond imagination.
Funny as anything, and now the bread's gone, the bacon is way gone as are the avocados. Only the tired tomato is left
with wrinkled skin and flavorless from sitting in the refrigerator for too long. Nutrition leached out by the no-defrost
feature of my shiny new Maytag unit I guess the tomato still has some value as fiber, but it is tasteless without the bacon.
As I write this I have decided to fry eggs and the sad tomato in the left over bacon grease
and pour Alfredo sauce over the whole thing.
But no bread, because I'm cutting calories.
Oh, maybe just a little of the leftover cornbread from yesterday.

Later, my friend!