Get out of the way!

There are days I wonder if it is worth it to get out of bed. I lay there listening to the birds and looking at the sunlight coming through the lace curtains, forming lovely patterns on my wall. I have a copy of Nadine Gordimer's "None to Accompany Me" and a cup of hot Jasmine tea within reaching distance. These are the moments it is easy to stretch out, yawn, turn over and return to my dreams. So, I guess that makes me normal. However, yesterday, I did get out of bed at 6 am, with the intention of walking a 5k race. Appropriate clothing waited on a chair near my bed, a cup of tea and a hot shower. My son registered for the Naked Foot 5k invited me to participate. I had trained for a total of 4 days and felt unprepared but willing to go along with it up to the point the announcement: runners to the starting line. At that point I realized I wasn't ready and stepped back to catch my son on video. Am I a quitter? Is that a bad thing? Is it important to know when to quit and when to push harder? As I stepped back there was a shift in my attention and the focus changed to my son and the other runners. Suddenly I wasn't worried about myself, my performance and I was more in tune with the emotions of the others who had really come to race, to place, to win. And I was okay with myself. I felt okay about letting myself off the hook. If I been more diligent in my training, I would feel differently. But there will be other 5ks and perhaps I will cross those starting lines. Until then I rejoice in the enthusiasm of my son, who finished 3rd and under 20 minutes. He has trained hard and will continue to train with devotion for all the upcoming events he can afford. I will be there to cheer him across the finish line and take him to brunch at Lowbrow!