My friend D walks dogs waiting for adoption. It appears to be a noble activity and takes the place of stair master at the Y. Her dogs have passed and it fills the gap created by their new lives in another world. As I read her posts I remind myself to contact the foster kids I speak for as a Guardian ad Litem. It's an interesting relationship, something like the dog walking. I have to be careful not to get too involved in their lives as my time in their lives is temporary. I try to stay detached, and I avoid spending excessive money on them. But the truth is I think about them, I wish the best for them and when they succeed in their endeavors, I celebrate. I have know K for 3 years and he is a charming kid, bright, funny, creative. And he is on the website, but is still waiting for a "forever family". This is his second time in the waiting stage. He lost his mother when he was young, then lost his adopted dad about a year after I met him. I have learned so much about resiliency from him, he has become quite a master as he has been in three different schools since we first met. He loves movies and chocolate chip cookies. He likes animals and would love to walk a dogs for fun, like my friend D. I wonder about the dogs that end up euthanized, do they get to walk or do they go right to death row and then sit there? How long do they wait? I had another child, J, and he was waiting for adoption, too. But he was extremely ill. He got worse. And then he was gone.
02 November, 2011
During my younger years I would never have left the house without make up. At the very least I would wear mascara and concealer for the circles under my eyes. And my contact lenses. And my hair, my hair had to be good! Then all my attention went into my kids and I didn't even bother to put on earrings. Sometimes I didn't even floss! Time passed, my kids got older, and one of them agreed to marry her sweetheart. In a real, although non-traditional, wedding. She asked me about make up. Having been a devoted Clinique user I led her through the story to the cosmetic area. As we passed the Este Lauder counter we stopped to see if anyone there had time for a makeover with the wedding in mind. It was Labor day weekend around 5 pm and the store was almost empty. We leisurely learned about the product and the history of Este Lauder as my daughter became a woman under the brushes of a woman who had devoted much of her life to the line. I want only the best for both my children and there was no question in my soul as I purchase her first real makeup that I wanted to contribute to her celebration, her evolution in this way. After I dropped her at her apartment with her selections, including 3 wedding dresses from which she would make her final selection I was filled with gratitude. I remembered lying on the bathroom floor when she was 11 months old with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy determined to stay in her life. Fighting to recover so I might share this day with her. I drove home, looked in the mirror and started laughing. I had bought nothing for myself. In fact, I realized I didn't own one item of Este Lauder product. And that the closest I had even come was my aged collection of Clinique, owned by Este Lauder Co. This is how co-dependency manifests: we put others needs and wants before our own. And then we ignore ourselves, we live "without". And we don't question it. A few weeks later we went to look at wedding shoes. I left her trying on shoes and made my way to the Este Lauder counter to try on and purchase a modest selection of items. She met me there after finishing her selection in the shoe department. Beaming as she watched the transformation happen in front of her eyes, and curious, and empowered by watching someone else exercise her options. We can live a life of denial and scarcity, or we can bloom, open and trusting that the universe is smiling on us and is betting on our joy, our success, and our gratitude.
Posted by Jules at 8:54 PM
What is a perfect day? Sometimes it's getting together with a long-time friend and colleague to eat doughnuts. Not just any old doughnuts-from-the-gas-station-on-the-corner, but doughnuts to celebrate. rare and fresh, and lovely to behold; Look for these doughnuts at Mojo Monkey. Pictured here are the apple dumpling, red velvet, traditional buttermilk and creme brulee filled with vanilla creme.
Posted by Jules at 4:13 PM