dear dog

I have watched my (crazy) dog-lady friends for some time with disbelief. All the time wondering how they could get hooked into arranging their lives around their ideas about a creature that is essentially an endless drain on their resources. One of them is obsessed with canine toothbrushing. Another, with an aging dog has thrown herself into learning how to interact with her increasingly deaf companion. And another is occupied with her schedule d visits to the dogpark and the politics involved in increasing the number and the park police prescence in her most frequented location. I had tried fostering for a rescue organization quickly realizing that while my aging cat was in my home that arangement would be stressful for all of us. When she dissapeared last summer, the posibility of adopting a dog opened before me.  Just as my work as a guardian ad litem opened me to the idea of adopting a child, the idea of training a therapy dog appeared to be a more managable step on that path. And infinitely more forgiving. We always had dogs when I was growing up and I felt like I needed a change from the feline approach to life. I knew I wanted a smaller dog, around 10 pounds of less, as I did not want someone heavier jerking my arms at the end of a leash. The papillon breed appealed to me and the search began... 

privacy

I switched my settings, which is kind of a big deal for me. I got a comment from someone I didnt know and it turned me off. It felt like a window peeper. And bossy with suggestions about how to take care of myself...and so my response is to just shut the curtains. It works for me. I was tempted to do something like that before the comment came in and now I am definitely doing it. I dont konw when I wanted to just write to myself, for myself and not have it out on a public forum for all to judge but there it is, as clear as day when it is a clear day. The letters I write to other people, the things and experiences that I love and the passive agressive nature of the interactions between some people and others are tiring and I just dont feel like getting caught in them. I is helpful to have the respiratory thing pointed out to us on a global scale. It is a tiny release of that pattern that affects the earth in this part of the world through the bodies of the humans who participate in it. And that is what has to happen for as long as it is necessary. I think I'll just go drink some hot ginger and relax. The pregnant moms are what they are and could easily be the ones that gave me this infection in the first place. Of course I am the one who took it on, for what ever reason and I am the one that is carrying it around. I canceled UMMC not just because they have compromised imune systems but I also have a compromised immune system.